Producer's note: The seasons of the year; the holiday season; seasons, seasons, season: The embodiment of the impermanence of any and everything.
Fall gives way to winter, trees shed leaves, humans bundle, and lights twinkle—it's undeniable that the only constant is change.
Soon we will welcome yet another new year, and with it many of us will choose to mirror the seasons by resolving to go through our own change. Some of us will be successful in reaching the goals we set for ourselves and others of us will falter—either is okay because it was always about the process anyway.
That process is grief: The letting go and starting anew; the acceptance of what was and is in service of what's to be; the change. Yes, that's grief.
In Season 2 of Great Grief, Nnenna offers us a space to sit with our grief, because doesn't it always seem to be more present at this time of year? Memories of loved ones passed, relationships ended, or times gone by get sparked by smells, sights, and sounds. For Nnenna, it's the smell and taste of sweet potato pie. What is it for you?
Read on for Nnenna Freelon's meditation on this season of change, and to get her never-before shared (WE'RE TALKING EXCLUSIVE) sweet potato pie recipe. You can listen to Season 2 of Great Grief as you bake it:
Our wish for you this season is that you go with grief and make way for change. Happy Holidays!
A meditation on grief at the holidays
There is no argument in my house when it comes to sweet potato pie versus pumpkin pie. I like a spicy sweet potato pie—not too sweet with a creamy texture.
As I make my sweet potato pie this year, I remember my grandmother, Irene, and how much I loved being in the kitchen with her as she baked for the holidays.
My grandmother cooked by feel: She didn't use a recipe book or write things down. When I'd ask her "how much?" she'd cup her hand or pinch her fingers and say, "oh, about this much," and smile.
I remember how she'd balance a big yellow bowl between her knees—it seemed like magic the way she wielded her wooden spoon in a steady rhythm. When I was allowed a chance to stir, I could barely move the thick batter.
I knew if I was a good helper, I'd get to lick the spoon or run my finger around the rim of the mixing bowl. Oh, how I savored the sticky goodness of a soon-to-be cake or pie. I recall how it feels to feast on what's leftover—to grab that lil' bit of the sweetness clinging to the edges of a life.
My sweet potato pie recipe has evolved over the years, but the real secret has always been to taste along the way: More sugar; a pinch of salt; nutmeg; cinnamon?
Growing up, we used evaporated milk in the recipe, but I have also used cream, half-and-half, and coconut milk—all with good results. Sweeteners have included white and brown sugar, pure maple syrup, and even a bit of molasses.
The potatoes themselves can be baked or boiled. I've used my instant pot too, but I always come back to boil. Sometimes, the really big potatoes are full of fibers, which you could strain, but… I'm just sayin'.
Oh, the crust? I used to make it from scratch, but there are so many really good frozen butter pie crusts out there now—just be sure to defrost them first. I recommend the Maine Pie Company, ready-to-bake.
Just as I gave thanks for the spicy bits and the pinch of salt that Grandmother Irene never, ever measured, I give thanks for my life in this moment—a thick, rich batter, full of memories savory, sweet, and sour.
The holidays and grief often arrive holding each other's hands. It's hard to separate things mixed up as they are in the bowl of your heart. Take care of yourselves and each other in this season.
You're invited: Join Scalawag and Nnenna Freelon in Durham, North Carolina, on Sunday, December 10 for Great Grief—Live! Home for the Holidays, a musical performance and conversation exploring loss, love, and how to move forward with grief during the holidays.
Giva's sweet tate' pie recipe
Ingredients:
- 3 cups cooked mashed sweet potatoes
- 1 ½ cups granulated sugar
- ½ cup butter, melted
- 3 eggs, medium beaten
- 1 ½ tsp pure vanilla extract
- 1 ½ tsp lemon extract
- 1/4 tsp salt
- 1 ½ tsp ground cinnamon
- 1 ½ tsp ground ginger
- 1 ½ tsp nutmeg
- 1 cup cream, or substitute
- 2 9" frozen pie shells
Instructions:
- Boil your sweet potatoes until tender. Once they can be safely handled, remove the skin.
- Let the frozen pie shells defrost while you mash potatoes.
- Add all ingredients except for the eggs; add additional spices, sweetener to taste.
- Add eggs and mix well.
- Pour filling into pie shells, then bake at 350 for about 55 mins.
As I remember my grandmother, I cherish being a grandmother myself. Giva is what my grandkids call me. Have fun with this family recipe; it'll make 2 pies.
Scalawag knows that for many of us, our grief is simultaneously never news and the only news.
Listen to the latest season of Great Grief with Nnenna Freelon, available now on all podcast platforms.
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