if she wanted
for nana
hung huge underwear
on the shower curtain rod
probably some form of worship
red flag to the ass I would inherit
sunk her teeth in a glass atlantic
sugar warning the salt of tomorrow
she was pirate
I was plank walking home
she might move
she might move the earth
my mother was eight
when she sent her across the water
sent money after
mother learned to cry
refilled the ocean
nana learned to pitch her voice high
this was probably some form of worship
she might move the earth if she wanted to
now she lives in Florida
hands in the dirt
raises oranges and roses
gorgeous as mama and sharp
in Georgia mama will cut fresh
gardenias for my summer room
refuse to sign my college financial aid forms
this was probably some form of worship
(she might move)
can you water flowers with salt can you
flower Christmas with rum can you
drum up fruit out of fear can you
soak an oak in rose water and sun
can you drink anything and survive it nana?
probably
she might move the earth
if she wanted to*
soar
call it class suicide
a private-school girl listens
to her oldest heart
stoking what neither nuns nor liberals
could choke
where there is smoke
there is fire under a smart ass
I will take off from Mercy
and fly on my own wings.
Please forgive me. I loved you all.†
you failed to teach me to love
money I never had
sweaters I couldn't afford
cars that muffled air
shackled lines of credit
mcmansion yardless acres of prison
tiny talk hors d'oeuvres of nothing
I will take off from Mercy
and fly on my own
the name of a private school
is a print to print on clear stickers
rearview mirror to revere
access card to demagnetized lunches
insurance for panicked parents and
a lie about what god would do
I will take off from Mercy
and fly
affirmation
for julia
you radiance dark
warm on my face
you depth bright
alive and breathing
you soil bottom
of the universe
only relevance of sun your skin.
night black is the same way
may as well be a rainbow ‡
someone would invade Grenada
steal joints off child fingers
drill dinosaurs out oceans
wanting the something
that makes you you
me
i would braid my breath
into rope to untie
would oil my hair
into brush burnish
your skin your skin
may as well be a rainbow
may as well be you
well as you one do
you never outdone
each moment more
clearly the absolute
one
night black is the same way
more queerly the absolute truth
what could be still
be flat be sold
be dismembered untold
be over be old
be less than yes
be anything other than blessed
in sight of night of you
you you you beacon of black
may as well be
may as well be
a rainbow
* Toni Morrison, Song of Solomon, 6. "The sight of Mr. Smith and his wide blue wings transfixed them for a few seconds as did the woman's singing and the roses strewn about. Some of them thought briefly that this was probably some form of worship. Philadelphia where Father Divine reigned, wasn't all that far away."
"One of the nurses, hoping to bring some efficiency into the disorder, searched the faces around her until she saw a stout woman who looked as though she might move the earth if she wanted to."
† Ibid, 3. "The North Carolina Mutual Life Insurance agent promised to fly from Mercy to the other side of Lake Superior at three o'clock. Two days before the event was to take place he tacked a note on the door of his little yellow house:
At 3:00 pm on Wednesday the 18th of February, 1931, I will take off from Mercy and fly away on my own wings. Please forgive me. I loved you all.
(signed) Robert Smith
Ins. agent
‡ Ibid, 40. "You think dark is just one color, but it ain't. There're five or six kinds of black. Some silky, some woolly. Some just empty. Some like fingers. And it don't stay still. It moves and changes from one kind of black to another. Saying something is pitch black is like saying something is green. What kind of green? Green like my bottles? Green like a grasshopper? Green like a cucumber, lettuce or green like the sky is just before it breaks loose to storm? Well, night black is the same way. May as well be a rainbow."